If you’re a single girl, you probably have the desire to meet a new partner, as every new adventure can be exciting when you approach someone new. You meet a handsome guy online, set up a date, and go out. After that, you start a new relationship which makes you feel butterflies in your stomach.
But it’s not all rainbows and butterflies when it comes to online dating. The truth is, we’re all different, so there are no rules for an ideal match. You never know with whom you’re dealing, which can be risky. The person might appear caring and well-mannered, but there’s always something going on. In other words, online dating is pretty much like a lottery, and the truth is that you never know what you get.
Luckily, there’s a solution – nothing works as well as a great investigation. Here are some crucial things to keep in mind before going out with a guy you met online.
1. First impression
First and foremost, the guy should leave a great first impression. It’s not easy to leave the first impression online as you would in real life, but it’s still something you need to think about. Look at his profile and his description. The pose he makes can make him appear confident or shy. See how much detail he put into his bio. If he did, see if his interests and goals match yours.
The first impression also covers the way he’s talking with you. He can be too flirtatious or can sound very friend-like. If he flirts too much, he may chat to lots of girls the same way, making him appear less trustworthy. On the other hand, if he talks more friend-like, he may seem shy, but he’s more likely to be loyal and affectionate. However, the best combination would be right in between the two.
There are a lot of things to keep in mind. Pay attention to other details because they could determine if he’s right for you. It could be the way he behaves, interests, thinks, or the way he treats you. He might be more egotistical or humble in his messages. See if he has ambitions, life goals, secrets, or hobbies.
Depending on how quickly or how much he replies, he can leave different impressions. The replies might measure his level of dedication and interest in you. Also, he may show how mature he is or not. You can set apart boys from men just by how they reply.
Sometimes, you can tell how open he is by looking at his replies. He might be somebody who would like to talk about different stuff, and other people are more of a closed type. Those types of guys can be less engaging and exciting.
After a while, you can see if he acts like a child or like a mature man. He may be a legitimate date or just a try-hard type. He can be assertive or quite submissive, and both leave different impressions. Also, he might have a great sense of humor. These are among many others crucial for your next date.
2. His behavior
Behavior can be different from one person to another. Its one of the most important things for every person. You can see if the guy you’re dating is right for you just by his behavior. You can never tell who the person might be in real life, but you can always read between the lines.
The first thing to notice would be how he presents himself. He can either talk too much about himself or be a listener. See how much he focuses on you during the conversation. Besides that, he can reply too much or barely – the ideal sweet spot would be a moderate amount of replies.
He can be creative with the messages that can make him entertaining or throw some generic messages just to fill in the conversation. You can see how much he cares about chatting with you by the amount of creativity.
Another thing that can be a part of some personas would be narcissism. It can be a toxic trait where one looks at no one but themselves. Feeling you’re better than anybody can negatively affect other people. People with too much ego usually tend to put other people down. They think the whole world revolves around them and that they’re the most important.
Whenever you’re talking with a man of this trait, he’ll make everything about himself. He can even turn the conversation into a monologue, leaving you behind. People like that will most likely be selfish in a relationship and only think about their own needs.
If a man you’re dating has this trait, don’t attach yourself to them. It’s best to walk away from such a conversation and go elsewhere.
Some people don’t have things to hide, but some do. It’s ok to keep some personal things to yourself. Of course, no one has to reveal everything right away, but if the guy hides many things from you, it’s a red flag. Especially if he’s faking being somebody else, it can be dangerous. You never know who might be hiding behind the curtain.
There can be many backgrounds that some people keep a secret. Some people live an entirely different life from the one they present. Since it’s an online dating app, some tend to take full advantage of it. They can get away with many fake details about themselves, date multiple girls, and make up a new story for each one.
Those kinds of people will have a tight schedule and will make you follow their rules. They’ll have a hard time changing the meeting schedule because you might ruin their shot with other dates. If you decide to go on a date, they may be nervous all the time. They will worry if someone they know catches them in their lies. These guys will look around constantly, which can raise suspicion.
If you happen to be in a relationship, the man you’re with might hide you from his friends and family. Also, if he hasn’t posted any pictures with you on social media, you just might be another secret. No matter what, men like that will constantly distance you from their personal life.
These people don’t have a healthy personality, which can be very clear. Moreover, people like that can be great manipulators and liars. They can use and abuse you whenever they please. You’re better off staying single or looking for someone brighter.
5. His life goals
If you want to date a more serious person, make sure they have life goals. Of course, they don’t have to be a multi-millionaire with tons of cars and big houses. However, they should have some goals in their life. That includes their future self, a dream job, a roof over their head, or a stable income.
Most people that aren’t thinking about their goals don’t know what to do with their lives. In most cases, they won’t know what to do with you either. You will most likely waste your precious time while spending it in a meaningless relationship – and that’s not a recipe for dating success.
Instead, you should date someone ambitious. Such people will have more things going on in their lives, and they will most probably like to make you become a part of it. Men like that will have more things to talk about, so the conversation will be more fulfilling. Because of their competitive spirit, they always try to become a better version of themselves. It’s the ultimate match that’s worth dating.
An ambitious person has a lot of motivation. If they have a drive that’s constantly pushing them further, they’ll have more will, and you would want someone that’s always trying to reach new heights. Next to that, they’ll most probably like to start new relationships. The man you’re dating can leave a much better impression on you with this trait.
8. Lack of interest
When talking with a date, you can determine if they’re interested in you or not. Is your conversation filled with messages, or is it lacking? If you’re not receiving many replies, it would mean that the guy might not be interested in you. Does the guy reply barely to your messages? Does it take him too long every time? If that’s the case, you should take a step back.
Allowing your date to do so will leave you miserable. The guy will even stop replying to your messages after a while. You’ll remain with no results and waste a lot of time. No matter the level of conversation, when he shows no interest, just quit. There will always be someone else who will be there for you.
9. His interest in you
If the person is interested in you, he will find ways to prove it. If a guy likes a girl that has contacted him, he will always reply. Even more so, he will try to win you over. And let’s be honest – the conversation is much more fun when someone likes to talk to you.
That can be an instant green light for going out, but don’t rush it. If you’re playing hard to get, the fire might go out. Try not to miss your chances and ask them to go out. Don’t forget, the iron’s boiling while it’s hot. You might even like each other more after going out on a date.
Another thing to make sure of would be to find a mature guy. You wouldn’t want to play the role of a mom talking to his kid. Things that separate men from boys are the right amount of seriousness in a chat. You would probably want to have a grown adult around.
Adult men don’t fear commitment and are not afraid to show their openness. There’s a lot more to talk about when you talk to a mature person. Most men with childish behavior will appear needier and want only a short-term goal. Also, they will most likely forget you in a shorter period. Try to create a bond with someone worth it.
If you can’t stand egotistical people, you might prefer those who are modest. It’s good to talk with a person who doesn’t solely focus on themselves. They usually have better personalities, which makes them ideal for a date. It can be a rare thing among people, but keep in mind your date has this trait.
12. His focus on you
Contrary to egotism, find a partner that focuses on you. He can listen to you while talking about different stuff. He wants to know more about you as if you’ve already gone out on a date. Showing that you care about the person you date will give new light to a conversation. Mutual focus and understanding are a must for a future relationship.
As we talked about ambitions and motivations, a dedicated person should be someone to meet. What we mean is he puts a lot of effort into his work. When he commits more to what he does, he appears more manly. Dedicated people can be great for more serious relationships. As we stated, it’s something to look for when it comes to date. If you dedicate yourself, you can be the best at anything.
Another positive thing that people can have is a hobby. The guy you’re dating may like drawing, painting, designing, or playing an instrument in their free time. It means that they could also have some goals. People with hobbies may be the ones that have strong dedication, ambition, and motivation. Men who are creative in their free time are more passionate in life. That might benefit your future relationship.
15. Control freak
One of the red flags to avoid in men is being a control freak. People like that will try to get in your way and abuse your time. They would want to know your every move – it’s like holding a prisoner. If the guy you’re dating has this trait, he’s not for your company.
He will envy you, your friends, your life events, and be jealous of any male friend you have. If people like that have a grain of doubt, they’ll cause you problems. They will also appear selfish and egotistical and might do things they wouldn’t allow you.
People who are controlling will try to neglect all your achievements. They will envy your successes and will try to put you down. They can even treat you like their hostage and take away your freedom. You will be very anxious, no matter what you do.
Also, they can shift their blame on you. Usually, the control freaks tend to cheat more but don’t want to think if their date does so. They will always try to make you feel responsible for their anger and issues. It’s always on you, regardless of what problem they make.
You would also have to be extra careful of what you post on social media. If you take a picture with an old male friend and post it online, you might face some trouble. He can be mad even if you take a picture with your brother. The same could apply to your list of male friends.
There will be times when you want to go to your friend or parents to talk in private. That will trigger a bit of anger and suspicion in your date. No matter where you go, he would always want to be a part of the event, or he would like to isolate you from everybody and be the only person in your life.
Long story short, try to avoid those men at all costs. Even if they show these signs online, don’t think about calling them on a date. They can make a living hell out of your life, and nobody wants that.
People that try too hard to impress you or pretend they’re somebody else can be easy to notice. You may even see that in their profile picture or a description. They can boast and brag right about anything. Also, they can have the already mentioned features – egotism, selfishness, arrogance, and immaturity.
He can be the one who flexes his muscles in any of his pictures, or he can take pictures with expensive cars or houses in the background. He may favor taking pictures of him holding a cup of cocktail and his luxurious watch. People who highlight materialistic things will look fake or cheap.
You can find a lot of bragging in his description as well. He can boast about having an expensive house on the beach, multiple cars, lots of money, or a high-paid job. He will brag about his achievements and think he’s the boss.
He may even want to tell you more about it when you’re talking. If you’re not impressed with his words, he will tell you how many other girls wait for his reply. The truth is, he might be talking from his mom’s basement and still is in puberty. He might’ve even stolen pictures of other people – you never know. All in all, people like that should be a no-brainer to avoid.
One of the traits to look for is openness in a person. If he can freely talk about anything and allow you to do so, you’ll have a better experience. You can exchange many topics like talking about your past, future, unpleasant moments, good times, dreams, wishes, desires, etc. He might also be more mature, honest, ambitious, and motivated.
You can talk about the music you listen to, movies, TV shows, or art. Talking about a favorite place you want to go to can be more of a subject. When you’re chatting with him, you won’t feel any restraints, and that’s the point of talking with someone new. Be on the lookout for people with this trait because you might have a great date.
It’s hard to see if a man is honest in online dating, but it’s one of the traits your partner should have. Let’s say you were talking after a while. Now you want to ask for his social media profile. If he refuses to give you a link, they might be hiding something. It could be their information, place of living, or someone else they’re secretly dating.
However, if he seems okay with sharing his profile, you can trust him more. You can also make a video call to make sure he’s real. Another important thing would be mutual friends on social media. It’s much safer if you happen to know similar friends or acquaintances.
19. Acting like a child
Acting like a child can be a similar thing to being a try-hard. It can be only an impression of his behavior. He can send messages in a way that will make him appear childish. You might send a message that might not sound the way you intended. He can be a little furious if he reads them the wrong way.
The person might make weird assumptions about how you said things. He can even sound like a crybaby just to receive more attention. It’s a trait that emotionally immature guys can have, so try not to engage with them too much. These are the types of people that can be very stubborn, persistent, and nagging. They can bring up the silliest things if you start dating afterward, so it’s a hard pass for us.
20. His opinion and attitude
We like when a person has their opinion and attitude. After all, we’re all different to a certain degree. A man who has his perspective makes him more of a character. That way, you can learn a lot more from each other. He can even help you look at things differently in a positive way.
However, some stubborn people don’t want to listen to anyone’s opinion but their own. They think that their opinion and attitude are the only ones that matter. Moreover, they will try to shove their opinion on your nose. You will even feel like he’s just trying to contradict everything you say.
If he has his perspective and supports yours, he will be great for going out. If you’re in a relationship with a man with this trait, you will get along in many situations. If he neglects your opinion and only thinks of his own, simply walk away. People like that are not the best option for relationships.
21. The one who engages you
It’s great when you can engage someone in a conversation, but it’s even better when your date does it more. An engaging person can help make the conversation a lot better. The guy who’s engaging will have more interest in you. He can even try to make the best possible version of you. In other words, men like that are worth dating.
If a man is willing to make compromises, he’s a keeper. He doesn’t always have to settle for anything, but he can be reasonable. It’s difficult to know when you’re talking online, but you can always determine if he’s that kind of person through small details.
Let’s talk about the place where you can meet. He can be the first to suggest the place and time, which is okay. However, if you come up with a better solution, he should make a small compromise. For example, there’s a better place you know or a different suitable time. If he’s not willing to listen to your suggestions, he may be stubborn by nature.
Although a small thing, it can also affect serious situations. If the man doesn’t listen to you, quit talking with him. Having things his way will make you feel unimportant when you’re in a relationship, and if it’s one-sided, it can fall apart quickly.
23. Sense of humor
Everyone loves a bit of humor in their lives. Like Charlie Chaplin once said: “Day without laughter is a day wasted.” If your conversation is serious at all times, it can die out before you know it’s over. Make sure that the man you’re talking with has a sense of humor. If that’s the case, you’ll have a great time together.
24. Assertiveness and dominance
The most masculine trait in a man would be assertiveness. Every man should stand up for himself and have the right to do so. It’s a demand for men to take action first. If he’s dominant, he’ll appear more attractive. That connects to being unbreakable and independent of external obstacles. Again, it’s a great sign of maturity that sets apart men from boys.
He should be the one that can correct you whenever you’re wrong. By that, we don’t mean disagreeing with everything you say, but he needs to have the courage to say “no” every once in a while.
It can be the sound of his messages when chatting online. If he’s confident in what he’s typing, it’s a sign that he is assertive. He may not be perfect, but not waiting for anyone’s approval makes him mature. It’s a man that doesn’t get broken after things people say to him.
When you’re talking to a man, see if he’s generous. We get that it may be tough to guess while chatting, but it’s an important thing that can determine your dating experience.
After talking for a while, you can see what he’s like through the messages. If he supports and appreciates you for who you are, he’s a keeper. Okay, some people may overdo that part for the sake of it, but you can see when he truly means that. It’s the kind of person who can understand and help you in the bad times. He could help you solve your problems when you’re dealing with such.
In most cases, the relationship with such a person will be much better. People with this trait usually make sure everything’s fine and the time you spend together is great. They’re the ones that are always there for their partner, so it’s a big plus. If you’ve found a date of this kind, you are a lucky girl.
26. Similar interests and tastes
As we said in the first half, opposites can attract, but there’s nothing better than sharing the same tastes, interests, perspectives, and ideologies. That will make you understand each other much better and have more fun conversations. It’s always great when you can enjoy the same music, movies, series, or even hobbies. With that, you can fulfill each other and make a better relationship.
Sharing the same tastes and interests will make you feel like you’re on the same team. Finding a similar person is rare, so don’t miss out. He might be a perfect match for you.
Honesty, openness, maturity, generosity, and modesty are the things to look for in a partner. If he can share his secrets, hobbies, tastes, and ideologies with you, the man’s worth dating. He can assert a bit of dominance, but he can also make compromises. If he values you for who you are and is honest about it, you’ve found yourself an ideal date.
These are the things to think about before going on a date with a guy. Of course, nobody is perfect – in fact, everyone has their flaws, but you never have to deal with a person who is full of red flags. However, if he fulfills most of the things, he can be a great partner. Hopefully, we helped you determine the right date for you. Now, go ahead and have fun!