If you’re single and want to have online dating success… but you have a hard time getting past a like or a swipe, let alone meeting (any) quality people in real life— you are not alone— especially if you’re a man.
The search for love, a hookup, or even just one online date can seem like a total time-waster. Sure the eye candy is great! But if you don’t get a like, a message, or a number… It can be utterly frustrating.
But before we get into how to do online dating profiles the right (and easy) way…
Here are some…
Online dating stats — that will shock you!
Since the early 2010s, According to The business of apps, online daters have substantially increased every year since 2015. Currently, it’s more than a 5.6 + billion-dollar industry.
How many people are on dating apps?
In fact, in 2021, more than 323 million people were using online dating apps. So there is A LOT to choose from (that is if you’re one of the lucky ones)… and better yet, we’re going to show you how to BECOME one of those “lucky” online daters.
And now you know there are plenty of singles to choose from on online dating websites and apps.
First, ask yourself these 3 questions about online dating
- What are you looking for online?
- How much research have you done when it comes to building attraction?
- Are you doing the same thing over and over online and expecting different (better) results?
By answering those questions, you should have some more insight into yourself and your knowledge about how you’re doing online dating.
Are you doing online dating the right way— or the wrong way?
And if you feel like nothing you do online works, here’s good news about the above questions.
Here are critical takeaways you’ll get from answering those 3 questions
- Now you know what you want— whether it’s a hookup, marriage, or casual dating or something wild and crazy.
- Now you know if you need to dig a little deeper into creating a magnetic online dating profile. And maybe you know now that you learn more about what your ideal date wants in a date or a partner.
- Now you know if you’re using the same online dating profile pics, cliche sayings, and boring opening messages… and if you have been… Well, we’re glad you’re here!
Next up, we’re going to share some dating bio secrets.
Now we have one more important question that only the savviest singles ask them themselves.
Do you want to meet a great person online to spend time with?
If the answer is yes! You’re in luck… because that’s what MOST other people on dating apps and dating sites are looking for. And many people forget there is a real live person on the other side, not just a bunch of pictures.
And just so you know, we wanted to start with some cold hard facts, and questions for you to answer, so you are INFORMED about the online dating world. Now you know just how many people are really out there.
Knowing the dating and relationship possibilities are almost endless online — is in your favor.
Writing a great profile is easy when you do a few simple tweaks.
These easy changes will explode your chances of success, so you CAN get yourself up close and personal to a warm, wonderful person IRL.
Someone who makes you laugh has your back and happens to be a fabulous kisser. That’s what we’re talking about!
Now you’re probably wondering… how am I supposed to get more (and better) dates?
By changing the things you’ve been doing (that are not working). And so you know, everything we’re saying in this article applies to women online and single men online.
We’ll share a few simple online dating steps to stack the cards in your favor.
You’ll see some examples of dating bios that don’t work. Then on the flip side, you’ll see examples of GOOD online dating bio hacks that will give you an unfair advantage over all the other people online.
The thing is… increasing your chance of getting a date doesn’t only have to do with your online dating profile photos. But don’t worry, because we’ll cover the other things you SHOULD do too!
However, your online dating profile photos ARE the initial thing you’ve got to have dialed in to spark the attraction factor.
To be successful online, you and your profile have to stand out.
But first, we’ve got to give you some nerdy data-related reasons why you’ve got to take the time to make yourself attract attention with GREAT online dating profile photos.
The Missouri University of Science and Technology conducted a study on first Impressions with eye-tracking research. Experimenters found the participants in the study took less than two-tenths of a second to form a first impression.
Now that’s fast.
Catching attention with lightning speed matters in online dating.
The good news about the study is that it took the average person about 2.6 seconds to focus on something specific on the websites they were shown.
Then they would take approximately 180 milliseconds to focus on one section before moving to the next section.
So our theory is…
Having as many eye-catching photos of yourself as possible will increase your chances of winning big in the online dating world.
When you hold the person on the other side of the screen’s attention for as long as possible with more images…
It gives you a much better chance at starting a conversation!
According to this research, the longer a person is fixated on a subject, the higher the likelihood of you piquing someone’s interest.
Looking at online dating profile photos is a lot like online shopping.
In a Google consumer survey, 50% of online shoppers said photos help them decide what to buy. So get your camera ready. And make your images stand out because your photos matter.
WARNING: Dating photos to avoid
- Pictures with your ex
- Images with faces scribbled out
- Heavy filters
- Inanimate objects
- Posing with cats gets fewer messages than dogs (we don’t have hard data for this one, though), and women showing pets may get fewer messages.
- Giant group photos (people will wonder… which one are they?)
- Super distracting backgrounds
- Fake smiles
- Old photos
Here are some simple tips to take GREAT online dating profile pics
- Get a friend to help you get some great shots.
- Comb your hair.
- Don’t use filters or cat ears.
- Wear makeup (if that’s your thing).
- Look nice (unless you’re shooting outdoor action shots on a mountain bike or something).
- Grab some props.
- Focus the images on yourself.
- Take LOTS of photos of yourself doing interesting (or even dull) things, then pick the best pictures.
- Have great lighting. Many photographers’ favorite time to shoot photos is during the golden hour. That’s when the sun is coming up in the morning or setting in the evening.
- Having a little bit of red in images is eye-catching.
Dating profile photo must-haves
- Best photo of you and only you.
- Activity photos (you are doing something!)
- Full or medium body shot (increases messages)
- Hobby or vacation photos
For women… smiling and flirting with the camera is a winner.
Men are not as much. Looking away from the camera is often better.
But if you have a great smile, don’t be afraid to show it off.
Now that you’ve got your online photos handled…
Stay away from these dating bio danger zones.
- Being negative
- Speaking in cliches
- Saying, “I’ll add more to this later.”
- Putting in all of your deal breakers
- Putting a list of all your must-haves.
- Talking about being broke
- Talking about your ex(es)
- Being inauthentic
Here are some quick, easy fixes for your online dating bio
First, stay away from all the dating bio danger zones! And put in a little effort (or hire an online profile writer to write your profile for you).
Now, we know everyone isn’t a good writer… and that’s OK. You can find someone on Fiverr or Upwork that’s pretty affordable.
Because you (or a writer) can take something boring and make it more engaging by using powerful action verbs and a fantastic free writing tool.
Word Hippo. (It’s like a thesaurus on steroids).
Take boring or cliche words, put them in word hippo and amp up your online dating bio.
Here are some of the most tired and overused bio lines in online dating history (and possibly in the world).
Work hard, play hard. Uggghhh…
Looking for my partner in crime. Do you really want to commit a crime with them?
I like walks on the beach and romantic sunsets. Duh.
I like hiking and biking. Are you just saying that?
I love going out and staying in. We hope you’re not a hermit and have somewhere to stay.
I can wear jeans or get dressed up for the night. You better be able to dress yourself.
I’m a glass-half-full kind of person. At least you’re not a glass-half-empty person.
Spice up those online dating bio cliches with some wordplay… so you can get some real-life play.
What are some other ways to say you work or play without saying the actual words to make you sound interesting?
Think about your bio as a tiny bit of your life story. Pick out the best, most fun, and most exciting parts, and write a short blurb about them.
Be funny (unless you’re just not funny, then steer clear).
Here are some examples of how you can juice up these tired, worn-out phrases.
- I wake up at 5 am and hit the gym before riding the F-train to work. Then after that… It’s happy hour time! Yeah, even though I’ve got some muscles, I still love some girly drinks!
- I secretly love the movie Dumb and Dumber. But, please don’t tell anyone, lol.
- I’m ready for consistent dinner reservations for two. I’m a relationship kind of guy and will have an exciting time dating until I meet the woman who makes me want to turn off this app.
- Self-proclaimed nerd. And in my spare time I’m also learning Spanish. So when I go on my dream vacation to Cancun next year, I can chat with the locals. I’m ready for some romance in Espanol.
- Chihuahua lover. Rising TikTok asteroid. Voracious reader. And I’m looking for someone to eat sushi with.
These kinds of specific things about you are conversation starters with the right people. And not only that, they can repel the wrong people. So if your partner must love sushi, non-sushi people will stay away.
Now that we’ve got that covered… and you’ve got yourself some likes, winks, matches, and swipes…
Here are online dating first messages to stay away from
You’re so hot.
The Golden Rule: DON’T BE BORING!
Know this… talking about a person’s physical attributes is boring. Especially if a woman or man is hot… they know it, and you don’t need to tell them. Because everyone else online has already told them.
If you match with someone, they ALSO think YOU’RE hot!
It’s an unspoken thing. And you don’t need to say it in your message. But remember, actions can speak louder than words, especially when matching someone online.
The online dating openers 1-2-3-step formula
There are some cut and past openers you can use… but the easiest way to connect with someone you’ve matched with is to use this simple one-two-three step part formula.
- Look and read their profile. And find common ground or something interesting in their photos or their bio.
- Start a short conversation about it.
- Then ask them a related question.
****You don’t have to do step 3 if that’s your style, but people like to be invited and understood.
Here are some basic guidelines when it comes to messaging someone new online
- Be funny if you know how (and we encourage it)
- Pay attention to their profile.
- Don’t expect an instant reply.
- If they don’t respond, move on to the next match.
- It’s OK to have more than one conversation with different people online.
- If you get ghosted, don’t worry about it because it happens all the time.
- If you see someone is online and they don’t respond, don’t take it personally.
- If you get a response, remember to go from A to B to C. And don’t go from A-Z.
Getting a match with someone doesn’t mean they’ll be your soul mate… but it does mean there IS the potential to start a fun, new, and exciting conversation, which could lead to something more.
Online dating is a numbers game
And the best part is… there are PLENTY of new people online to match and chat with.
If you’re not getting any messages back online, try something new. No online dating rules are set in stone!
Here are a few other things you can do to increase your chances of getting a date online.
- Expand your distance settings. (Long distance relationships DO work!).
- Log onto your app at different times.
- Change up your photos.
- Rewrite your bio.
- Change your location when you travel. When you’re out of town, you might meet someone special.
- Expand your age range. Someone who’s not in your age bracket might surprise you!
And if you ever feel the dating app overwhelm, turn off the notifications, and take a few days off.
But as long as you’re in a perfect feeling-playful space… log on. And log on often!